A Love Letter

I love Toronto. I love that the simple decision of turning right or left will lead to two completely different neighbourhoods within 5 minutes. I love that walking is a viable option provided time and weather aren't too persuasive. I love that my roommate and I can go skating on a random week night at City Hall. I love that shopping is Queen W…west of Bathurst. I love that the Distillery District is like a time warp. I love Pedestrian Sundays. I love the neverending array of brunch spots. I love bike paths, bike lanes, and bike racks. I love corner stores selling produce, making them convenience stores. I love BMV. I love that on a nice day everyone seems to be as in love with the city as I am. I love Trinity Bellwoods. I love two-toonie Tuesdays. I love that CAMH is at the heart of arguably Toronto's coolest neighbourhoods. I love the diversity. I love that dirt bars and red-rope lounges can co-exist on the same block. I love that there's a neighbourhood called The Beach, despite the lack of Leonardo and blue clean water. I love that the term Yonge and Eligible couldn't be farther from the truth. I love that looking up and seeing the Tower reminds me I'm home.

All About the Benjamins

Money. I like it.

I wouldn't kill for it…but I do waste away in an office 37.5 hours a week for it. It's almost like killing…myself softly.

Anyway…I'm finding urban life to be a tad expensive. When I was in a relationship my expenses consisted of food and beer. Out. It could've been cheaper but that was the extent of it.

Now several months later I find solo to be pretty pricey. Out is not sitting around a hightop watching the game, it's more like cover, rounds of drink, dinners and cabs. Not to mention cute jackets, dresses and boots. Movies. Manis. Brunches. Facials. Essentials!

I quickly fill my weekly calendar with nights out/catch ups/distractions…whatever you want to call it. However, doing whatever whenever has a price. As N pointed out, freedom is not free.

It's like I feel an obligation to spend. Time and money. When you have more of one, you have less of the other.

And then there's vacation. Less than 2 weeks away. Less than 2 weeks away. Unpaid. Trip expenses less 8 days of income. Yikes. Is this just occurring to me now? Possibly. Denial is awesome until you're so close that you can smell the post-dated rent cheque.

I'm ok…really. I've been saving beyond my means. Must be the Scottish in me...

Can't enjoy it unless I've suffered for it.

My revenge on Lake Couchiching

So I started swimming lessons this week.

In the same pool that my almost-2-year-old niece will learn to kick and splash, I will be doing my best crawl, front and back.

Registering and actually showing up required a bit of courage…but not as much as I would've needed to return to Lake Couchiching.

I digress.

Last August, as many of you know I completed a try-a-tri triathlon. One of the best experiences of my life, compromised by the teeny threat of drowning or not finishing the swim. I was a self-admitted terrible swimmer who thought I could wing a 375 metre swim in open water. Silly girl. For a play-by-play, www.morethanatri.blogspot.com.

This year I'm taking responsibility and showing up every week (save for the two Mondays I'll be in a sunny locale!). I'm taking the instructor's critiques to heart and applying what I learn. Even though he is 21, I will take him seriously, I swear!

Look out K and E…this girl aint needing those water wings anymore!

Well, in 8 weeks I won't. Fingers crossed.
It's all in Maurizio's strong capable hands…haha

Twenty ten!

New Years Eve.
Love it or hate it…you can't escape it.

I really can't. It's my birthday…and love/hate doesn't even begin it. It's always been a conflicted holiday for me….for reasons I won't get into but it goes beyond the usual birthday blahs.

This year was different. I took ownership of the day and made it perfect, with the help of a few very special people.
Facial. Nieces. Skating. Mani. Ho-cho. Dinner. Party. Perfect.

What really made it special though was the feeling I woke up with the next day. Release.

It's like I left any anger or negativity behind in 2009. There was a shift somewhere, where I let go. I feel twenty pounds lighter, and ten times happier.

Happy 2010 everyone!
May it be everything you dream.

Ps. Right now I'm dreaming of J.Crew and overly articulate high school students. Thanks ladies…and boy!

When Adam met Eve...she just wanted to be friends. He had other ideas.

Can guys and girls just be friends?

My ex was adament that platonacy isn't possible, one side always wants more, he insisted. I've always disagreed but my position is fleeting.

I grew up with platonic relationships. My brothers. I truly believe that wired me to see men as friends. The kind of friends I would never even contemplate being intimate with because…well they're like brothers to me.

My girlfriends without brothers seem to have less of an interest in surrounding themselves with boys whom they're not romantically linked.

Is it the same for men? Are those with sisters more capable of upholding nonsexual relations with women? Those without, less?

Platonic friendships are, supposedly a two-way street. This requires guys to be somewhat selective in their affections, primal or otherwise. And from what I can tell, this is universally rare.

When Harry Met Sally provides us with timeless insight into intergender relations.

Harry: ...men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
...
Harry: You only think you do.
...
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.

Me? I ignore any comments or jokes that have potential to burst my platonic bubble. I engage in conversation about our respective love lives. I avoid trivializing the relationship. Essentially, I walk the line and hope he doesn't cross it.

I guess my point is...does it really matter if he likes you? What bearing do his feelings have on you unless he makes it a factor? Isn't it still platonic if you think it is and he hasn't compromised the friendship? Is ignorance bliss?

If most guys are willing to sleep with 95% of the girls they know, I'm working with a slim 1% margin. I just hope when I do find someone meeting my tough criteria, I don't fall in his remaining 5%, subsequently finding myself on the other side of the debate.