Despite my aversion to the process of packing, hauling, and unpacking I've decided to move out.
Unfortunately, that means splitting from N. Our lives are taking us on different paths, where hers involves a beau...mine, a not-quite ready condo and a friend looking for a roommate. Sigh. It's been 4 years of living with her and I'm really quite sad about our pending break up. Ours has, in fact been my longest and most successful relationship thus far. And this split, the most gracious.
Perhaps this is the shake-up both of us need. A change of scenery…we're coming on to 3 years in this apartment. An apartment less than perfect. No need to take inventory of things I won't miss. Although, the things I will. The deck. The location. The neighbours. The roommate.
Maybe a shift out of my comfort zone will stir those giants of complacency. Remind myself that I'm oh so lucky to be a single girl living in an amazing city and an opportunity to enjoy this urban life o'mine.
H, my potential new roommate will be good for that. She answered a similar cosmic call 4 and a half years ago when I moved to Toronto and in with her, thanks to craigslist. That summer was a goodie.
And perhaps, this winter will be the bestie.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The bigger they are...
I've had more conversations with HR than I'd like to count. More interviews than I'd like to admit. More rejections than I'd like to think about.
For 3 years I've been spinning my wheels careful not to get too excited about job propsects, or too discouraged by none.
Yesterday, I was told I was not getting a job that I thought I had a good chance of getting. I've had quite a few of those conversations, and trust me they are not something that get easier with practise.
Thankfully, there was a part of me that didn't want it.
The job itself was so promising. I knew I could excel at it, I knew I would learn a great deal. The company is not only a strong Canadian brand that I could stand behind, but also they appear to care about their employees. All great things.
Except...the location.
I would have either had to get a car or TTC an aggregate 3 hours a day. Neither of which sound like my 15 minute bike ride to work. Something I really value.
When I thought about driving in the snow, or walking to a "rural" bus stop in the middle of a blizzard, my stomach lurched. Now, if you subscribe to The Secret or variations thereof, I can see you shaking your head saying that I created that outcome by focusing on the negative aspects of the job. I even heard myself everytime someone said "Wow (insert company name here), that would be very cool"…I'd respond, "Yea, but that commute…eek".
But my question for you, you attraction lawyers out there…why doesn’t it work the other way? Why does negative appear to be so much stronger? Why, after all of these hours spent in a suit...all the positive energies put out there...hopes. Why are my wheels still a'spinnin'?
The bigger they are, the harder the fall.
Applies to giants and expectations alike.
For 3 years I've been spinning my wheels careful not to get too excited about job propsects, or too discouraged by none.
Yesterday, I was told I was not getting a job that I thought I had a good chance of getting. I've had quite a few of those conversations, and trust me they are not something that get easier with practise.
Thankfully, there was a part of me that didn't want it.
The job itself was so promising. I knew I could excel at it, I knew I would learn a great deal. The company is not only a strong Canadian brand that I could stand behind, but also they appear to care about their employees. All great things.
Except...the location.
I would have either had to get a car or TTC an aggregate 3 hours a day. Neither of which sound like my 15 minute bike ride to work. Something I really value.
When I thought about driving in the snow, or walking to a "rural" bus stop in the middle of a blizzard, my stomach lurched. Now, if you subscribe to The Secret or variations thereof, I can see you shaking your head saying that I created that outcome by focusing on the negative aspects of the job. I even heard myself everytime someone said "Wow (insert company name here), that would be very cool"…I'd respond, "Yea, but that commute…eek".
But my question for you, you attraction lawyers out there…why doesn’t it work the other way? Why does negative appear to be so much stronger? Why, after all of these hours spent in a suit...all the positive energies put out there...hopes. Why are my wheels still a'spinnin'?
The bigger they are, the harder the fall.
Applies to giants and expectations alike.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
If you can't handle the heat...crank that dial
My mother always fought the social pressures of climate control. "Why do you want heat in the winter...and cold in the summer?" Her argument was that if the house was built properly the outside conditions should have no effect on the inside. They did…so it wasn't?
Who's to argue? Wear a sweater.
That cultivated in me a lowered dependency on thermostats…and also, a fear/ignorance of them.
Now, as temperatures in Toronto reach unbearable heights I am being seduced by the need for artificially-generated cold air.
The outside is cooler than the inside. I can't open the windows in my room. We shield the sunlight from entering the apartment, creating a cave-like atmosphere. We don’t cook for fear of raising the temperature inside by even one degree. My hair not only suffers the inevitable plight of humidity but I don't even blow dry it because a hot air gun has no business in my life right now.
Desperate measures.
We're now considering getting a portable unit. Our not-all-that scientific positioning of the fans has exceeded our patience. I normally dislike AC. I find it's generally abused and the overzealous willy-nilly approach to climate control is the cause of summer blackouts that, at first seem exciting and then just prove annoying.
In the right hands (ie. mine and N's), AC could perhaps simply be a mechanism for taking the edge off on a stupid hot Toronto day/night.
Not an excuse to wear a sweater in July.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
G20-something
I got the hell out of dodge.
So my commentary on the G20 Summit is simply as a citizen of Toronto, who stradles the centre of the politcal spectrum.
My first and main issue is with the decision to have the summit in Toronto. In the downtown core, no less. The summit is not designed as a site seeing visit for politicians….so location should have more practical security sense than 'showcasing' Canada's biggest city. And if the big idea was to entice the international press to speak the good word of TourismToronto…this was certainly not the stage to do so. Who wants to visit a police state with a contrived pond? Sounds like an Orwellian tale, not my Toronto.
The massive price tag associated with summit security was due to the absolute integrated nature of the venue. The mulitple access points. The residential condos surrounding the building. The underground PATH system. It wasn't because our fence was made of gold, we just required much more fence.
However, I don't blame the pre-emptive security measures taken. People learn from history. No global summit has occurred without violence. It would be ignorant to suggest that the fence was not necessary. It's just a shame that the apparent main objective was to protect the leaders at the expense of the host city.
I feel for the protestors who had a message. The media coverage was geared toward chaos, thereby perpetuating the extremists' argument that in order to be heard you must use violence as your medium. Unfortunately, that tactic takes away from the cause and makes violence the story. Nobody wins.
Things got out of hand. Some protestors got out of hand. Some police got out of hand. The police had the added weighty responsibliity of keeping order amidst chaos. I can appreciate that…I was in Muskoka with 9 children at one point.
Thank goodness they weren't organized…and couldn't reach the matches.
So my commentary on the G20 Summit is simply as a citizen of Toronto, who stradles the centre of the politcal spectrum.
My first and main issue is with the decision to have the summit in Toronto. In the downtown core, no less. The summit is not designed as a site seeing visit for politicians….so location should have more practical security sense than 'showcasing' Canada's biggest city. And if the big idea was to entice the international press to speak the good word of TourismToronto…this was certainly not the stage to do so. Who wants to visit a police state with a contrived pond? Sounds like an Orwellian tale, not my Toronto.
The massive price tag associated with summit security was due to the absolute integrated nature of the venue. The mulitple access points. The residential condos surrounding the building. The underground PATH system. It wasn't because our fence was made of gold, we just required much more fence.
However, I don't blame the pre-emptive security measures taken. People learn from history. No global summit has occurred without violence. It would be ignorant to suggest that the fence was not necessary. It's just a shame that the apparent main objective was to protect the leaders at the expense of the host city.
I feel for the protestors who had a message. The media coverage was geared toward chaos, thereby perpetuating the extremists' argument that in order to be heard you must use violence as your medium. Unfortunately, that tactic takes away from the cause and makes violence the story. Nobody wins.
Things got out of hand. Some protestors got out of hand. Some police got out of hand. The police had the added weighty responsibliity of keeping order amidst chaos. I can appreciate that…I was in Muskoka with 9 children at one point.
Thank goodness they weren't organized…and couldn't reach the matches.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
The Man Scan
I've taken up a new hobby. I like to call it "man browsing", but depending on the degree and circumstance it can be elevated to "man stalking".
There's the natural "man scan" that occurs when you're going about your daily life, essentially sizing up every man that crosses your path. Giving them the green or red, sometimes yellow. Based purely on superficial attraction and possibly rooted in primal survival instinct.
Then, there's the more commited approach. Beyond the street pass, this could be someone in your office building or a neighbour or a clerk at your movie rental spot. Someone you could potentially cross again and again and again (if you're lucky and have the stamina).
Today, my office building complex had a barbeque. Most see it as an opportunity to score free grub. Me? An opportunity to see what these walls have been hiding. M and I had our radar going. Even though she is 'with boy', she is pretty supportive of my cause. We were covertly and overtly scoping out the scene, including taking photos with our blackberrys for later identification…I'm pretty sure that was the 'overtly' part.
…or there's the neighbour who is unaware of our (his and mine) pending relationship. Haha.
…or the friend who met a guy at the bar and we managed to find out his last name, the name of his employer, the address of his office and his mom's maiden name…all from a general idea of what he did and a broad intersection. Google knows.
Kidding about the maiden name thing…now that would just be nuts.
What's a single girl to do?
There's the natural "man scan" that occurs when you're going about your daily life, essentially sizing up every man that crosses your path. Giving them the green or red, sometimes yellow. Based purely on superficial attraction and possibly rooted in primal survival instinct.
Then, there's the more commited approach. Beyond the street pass, this could be someone in your office building or a neighbour or a clerk at your movie rental spot. Someone you could potentially cross again and again and again (if you're lucky and have the stamina).
Today, my office building complex had a barbeque. Most see it as an opportunity to score free grub. Me? An opportunity to see what these walls have been hiding. M and I had our radar going. Even though she is 'with boy', she is pretty supportive of my cause. We were covertly and overtly scoping out the scene, including taking photos with our blackberrys for later identification…I'm pretty sure that was the 'overtly' part.
…or there's the neighbour who is unaware of our (his and mine) pending relationship. Haha.
…or the friend who met a guy at the bar and we managed to find out his last name, the name of his employer, the address of his office and his mom's maiden name…all from a general idea of what he did and a broad intersection. Google knows.
Kidding about the maiden name thing…now that would just be nuts.
What's a single girl to do?
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Train Schedules
Here we go again.
I'm once again training for a baby triathlon. I mean a try-a-tri triathlon (one guy actually thought I did triathlons with babies…I don't know). Anyway, the time frame is similar to the last one with 6 weeks to go, (see: http://www.morethanatri.blogspot.com/)…but the motivation is pretty different.
Last time, as it turned out I had a broken heart to mend…this time, no broken heart...simply a number of bad habits developed over the winter to break. A colleague of mine moonlights as a personal trainer and his fee pour moi? A latte. I offered an americano but...a hard bargain, he drives.
Last night, I started the regimen. A strict 6-week-at-6-days-with-Sundays-off training schedule. Hello! No time for Yoga Mondays. No room for two-bite Tuesdays. No excuses for missing burpee Wednesdays. I'm locked and ready.
My enthusiasm masked any fatigue last night, but I wasn't so lucky this morning. It was tough…and it will just get harder. Hopefully I'll have cameo appearances from my favourite sparring buddies, but for the most part I've got to rely on myself for motivation.
That, and the fear of J every morning when he asks how things are going. I got a customized program and a face every morning as a part of the deal. The face of delight is good…face of disapointment, bad.
Not a terrible rule to go by in general.
I'm once again training for a baby triathlon. I mean a try-a-tri triathlon (one guy actually thought I did triathlons with babies…I don't know). Anyway, the time frame is similar to the last one with 6 weeks to go, (see: http://www.morethanatri.blogspot.com/)…but the motivation is pretty different.
Last time, as it turned out I had a broken heart to mend…this time, no broken heart...simply a number of bad habits developed over the winter to break. A colleague of mine moonlights as a personal trainer and his fee pour moi? A latte. I offered an americano but...a hard bargain, he drives.
Last night, I started the regimen. A strict 6-week-at-6-days-with-Sundays-off training schedule. Hello! No time for Yoga Mondays. No room for two-bite Tuesdays. No excuses for missing burpee Wednesdays. I'm locked and ready.
My enthusiasm masked any fatigue last night, but I wasn't so lucky this morning. It was tough…and it will just get harder. Hopefully I'll have cameo appearances from my favourite sparring buddies, but for the most part I've got to rely on myself for motivation.
That, and the fear of J every morning when he asks how things are going. I got a customized program and a face every morning as a part of the deal. The face of delight is good…face of disapointment, bad.
Not a terrible rule to go by in general.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Morning Glory
I went for a run this morning before work. It was kind of an important day and I find I function best when I start the day with activity.
I managed to do my 20 minutes between rainy shifts.
The combination of the rainy afterglow and the natural morning light made everything look so….so vibrant. It was as if it had this new day energy. New week energy. New month energy. New season energy.
Regardless, it was good energy.
…and I carried that with me all day.
I managed to do my 20 minutes between rainy shifts.
The combination of the rainy afterglow and the natural morning light made everything look so….so vibrant. It was as if it had this new day energy. New week energy. New month energy. New season energy.
Regardless, it was good energy.
…and I carried that with me all day.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Yoga with chocolate on top
Mondays are made better with weekly yoga in Roncesvalles with N.
The 90 minutes of mindful breathing and stretching undoes whatever post-weekend shock Monday had to your system .
Unfortunately, our yoga high is threatened by the bike ride home. Dundas is pretty scary to ride due to construction, streetcar tracks and wonky intersections. Upon reaching the top of the bridge just west of Landsdowne, however, the ride redeems itself.
From there, I see the Toronto skyline and I smell chocolate from the Aero factory. What a weekly treat for my senses. And if lights go my way, I can use that momentum all the way home.
Yoga, Toronto and chocolate. Mondays: not for complaining anymore.
The 90 minutes of mindful breathing and stretching undoes whatever post-weekend shock Monday had to your system .
Unfortunately, our yoga high is threatened by the bike ride home. Dundas is pretty scary to ride due to construction, streetcar tracks and wonky intersections. Upon reaching the top of the bridge just west of Landsdowne, however, the ride redeems itself.
From there, I see the Toronto skyline and I smell chocolate from the Aero factory. What a weekly treat for my senses. And if lights go my way, I can use that momentum all the way home.
Yoga, Toronto and chocolate. Mondays: not for complaining anymore.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Grand Cayman
I don’t have much to say about my trip to Grand Cayman except that it was superb. I developed a bit of a crush on the island to be honest. We weren't overly exposed to tourism so the island came off as pretty humble. It maintained it's own identity amongst the offshore cruise ships and invading ghostly gringos. J and I stayed with a friend from university. His house was incredible…but the backyard was probably the greatest backyard ever. Ever. Infinite hot tub, infinite pool, ocean. I've never been much of a water girl but this converted me.
During the day our view was the aqua horizon. Late at night, with just the sounds of unidentified mating calls we would just stare out into black nothing.
Our days were filled with lounging and watery activity….evenings, with barbeque and cards.
Superb.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Tea-lightful
In university I drank a tonne of coffee. Multiple times a day. Everyday.
I've since discovered my aversion to caffeine. I don't react well at all, so I switched to tea. An herbal natural way to get jacked in the AM.
Tazo berryblossom white tea was my preferred poison. Boxes of this stuff followed me whereever I purched. Home. Work. Boyfriend's. Sister's. And then out of nowhere, it was discontinued. Bam. I couldn't find it anywhere. I was forced to ration my stash, determining if the day was worthy of my finite supply.
I decided it made for a good opportunity to branch out and discover new teas. And it did, but I still had a soft spot for the white tea with the delightful hint of berryness.
One day I came home to a care package from my girlfriend from BC…it was a bubble envelope full of THE tea. She found it, thought of me, bought it and mailed it. So amazing. Another girlfriend, bought up Kensington's supply last weekend.
Do I not have the most thoughtful friends ever?? Yes, and I talk a lot about my tea.
I'm drinking some of it right now, and can't help but think how lucky I am.
Today is oh so worthy.
I've since discovered my aversion to caffeine. I don't react well at all, so I switched to tea. An herbal natural way to get jacked in the AM.
Tazo berryblossom white tea was my preferred poison. Boxes of this stuff followed me whereever I purched. Home. Work. Boyfriend's. Sister's. And then out of nowhere, it was discontinued. Bam. I couldn't find it anywhere. I was forced to ration my stash, determining if the day was worthy of my finite supply.
I decided it made for a good opportunity to branch out and discover new teas. And it did, but I still had a soft spot for the white tea with the delightful hint of berryness.
One day I came home to a care package from my girlfriend from BC…it was a bubble envelope full of THE tea. She found it, thought of me, bought it and mailed it. So amazing. Another girlfriend, bought up Kensington's supply last weekend.
Do I not have the most thoughtful friends ever?? Yes, and I talk a lot about my tea.
I'm drinking some of it right now, and can't help but think how lucky I am.
Today is oh so worthy.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Here and now
I have a new mantra.
Here and now.
That's it. Not entirely spiritual or profound but for me right now…it says exactly what I need it to.
I gave the Power of Now a go. I'm a start from the beginning kind of girl…but when a book don't grab me, I'm not much of a middle and end kind of girl. I have a hard time getting into non-fiction…non-narrative non-fiction to be precise. So as much as Tolle has changed many lives…I find myself impatient with his words.
I read enough to know that I do not embrace daily what he was preaching. I live in the past. The future. Not so much the now. What a pity. I'm living my life with my head in the clouds...reaching for something, whether it's in front or behind or just in my head. Never enjoying where I am. What's right here.
Missing out.
Since adopting this mantra, I find myself periodically taking a deep breath and taking inventory of the daily wonders right around me.
That's a start!
Here and now.
That's it. Not entirely spiritual or profound but for me right now…it says exactly what I need it to.
I gave the Power of Now a go. I'm a start from the beginning kind of girl…but when a book don't grab me, I'm not much of a middle and end kind of girl. I have a hard time getting into non-fiction…non-narrative non-fiction to be precise. So as much as Tolle has changed many lives…I find myself impatient with his words.
I read enough to know that I do not embrace daily what he was preaching. I live in the past. The future. Not so much the now. What a pity. I'm living my life with my head in the clouds...reaching for something, whether it's in front or behind or just in my head. Never enjoying where I am. What's right here.
Missing out.
Since adopting this mantra, I find myself periodically taking a deep breath and taking inventory of the daily wonders right around me.
That's a start!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
And it was all Yellow
I grew up without pets. There was a hamster, but that did not end well. So…that was that. Years later, my brother married a nice girl with a nice dog. She was blond and she was super friendly and she could catch a mean frisbee. Yellow was the greatest dog EVER.
Throughout the years I've been charged with taking care of her. She gained a lot of fans along the way. Every roommate, every visitor, every stranger instantly fell in love with the lab named not for the colour of her fur but for a butterfly in a children's book.
She was gentle and loved people more than her own kind. Who are we kidding...she was part people, right?
Nah, there was a 12-lb turkey incident proving she was all dog, but who could look at those sad brown eyes and wagging tail and stay mad?
Not me.
Alas, her time has come. I'm sad to say farewell to my dear friend. She kept me company on cold nights. She mooed with cows. She chased s-q-u-i-r-r-e-l-s. She understood. She stole my heart.
Sweet dreams Yellow dog. xox
Monday, March 8, 2010
Lean on Me
The word 'rut' is being thrown around.
Friends are suffering from a bout of great expectations. Mainly their own.
28. 29. 30. 31. They should be here or there, have this or that. Even though every single one of them has one accomplishment, if not several, to be oh so proud of. They're focused on what they don't have…the negative of the frame. I'm as guilty as any.
Pep talks feel hypocritical, but it's so much easier to see the silliness of another's distress rather than your own. The same people I'm shaking my head at because of their deflated sense of accomplishment are mirroring the same gesture back at me. We need the same thing from one another, unable right now to do it for ourselves.
It's like the other night. K and I were at a party sitting on a bed. It was late and all I wanted was a backrest. Some support. Something to lean on. So...we held eachother up.
She had my back and I had hers (...until, of course, she left to do headstands in the hallway)
Thanks for the support, friend(s)!
Friends are suffering from a bout of great expectations. Mainly their own.
28. 29. 30. 31. They should be here or there, have this or that. Even though every single one of them has one accomplishment, if not several, to be oh so proud of. They're focused on what they don't have…the negative of the frame. I'm as guilty as any.
Pep talks feel hypocritical, but it's so much easier to see the silliness of another's distress rather than your own. The same people I'm shaking my head at because of their deflated sense of accomplishment are mirroring the same gesture back at me. We need the same thing from one another, unable right now to do it for ourselves.
It's like the other night. K and I were at a party sitting on a bed. It was late and all I wanted was a backrest. Some support. Something to lean on. So...we held eachother up.
She had my back and I had hers (...until, of course, she left to do headstands in the hallway)
Thanks for the support, friend(s)!
Friday, March 5, 2010
Extra Coating
It's March. Trigger the impatience for spring.
Cold and snow haven't played too much of a role this winter. So what is my problem?
My problem is with coats. My coat. Your coat. Their coat. Mainly my coat.
My coat has certainly seen better seasons, and will probably be retired at end of this one. No matter…by March I'm tired of wearing, looking and holding this second skin of mine.
Shopping is a pain with the extra load.
Commuting is cumbersome with the extra inches.
Outing is expensive with the extra check. Coat check.
My favourite time of year is that day where you haphazardly shed your coat, even if it's still a little too cold. You do it because it's been four months of handcuffs. Handcuffs in the form of heavy wool plaid with a funnel neck. And then you're free!
Well free to wear your SPRING coat.
Which is fine because it's light and cute and has a lot less mileage on it.
Cold and snow haven't played too much of a role this winter. So what is my problem?
My problem is with coats. My coat. Your coat. Their coat. Mainly my coat.
My coat has certainly seen better seasons, and will probably be retired at end of this one. No matter…by March I'm tired of wearing, looking and holding this second skin of mine.
Shopping is a pain with the extra load.
Commuting is cumbersome with the extra inches.
Outing is expensive with the extra check. Coat check.
My favourite time of year is that day where you haphazardly shed your coat, even if it's still a little too cold. You do it because it's been four months of handcuffs. Handcuffs in the form of heavy wool plaid with a funnel neck. And then you're free!
Well free to wear your SPRING coat.
Which is fine because it's light and cute and has a lot less mileage on it.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
A Love Letter
I love Toronto. I love that the simple decision of turning right or left will lead to two completely different neighbourhoods within 5 minutes. I love that walking is a viable option provided time and weather aren't too persuasive. I love that my roommate and I can go skating on a random week night at City Hall. I love that shopping is Queen W…west of Bathurst. I love that the Distillery District is like a time warp. I love Pedestrian Sundays. I love the neverending array of brunch spots. I love bike paths, bike lanes, and bike racks. I love corner stores selling produce, making them convenience stores. I love BMV. I love that on a nice day everyone seems to be as in love with the city as I am. I love Trinity Bellwoods. I love two-toonie Tuesdays. I love that CAMH is at the heart of arguably Toronto's coolest neighbourhoods. I love the diversity. I love that dirt bars and red-rope lounges can co-exist on the same block. I love that there's a neighbourhood called The Beach, despite the lack of Leonardo and blue clean water. I love that the term Yonge and Eligible couldn't be farther from the truth. I love that looking up and seeing the Tower reminds me I'm home.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
All About the Benjamins
Money. I like it.
I wouldn't kill for it…but I do waste away in an office 37.5 hours a week for it. It's almost like killing…myself softly.
Anyway…I'm finding urban life to be a tad expensive. When I was in a relationship my expenses consisted of food and beer. Out. It could've been cheaper but that was the extent of it.
Now several months later I find solo to be pretty pricey. Out is not sitting around a hightop watching the game, it's more like cover, rounds of drink, dinners and cabs. Not to mention cute jackets, dresses and boots. Movies. Manis. Brunches. Facials. Essentials!
I quickly fill my weekly calendar with nights out/catch ups/distractions…whatever you want to call it. However, doing whatever whenever has a price. As N pointed out, freedom is not free.
It's like I feel an obligation to spend. Time and money. When you have more of one, you have less of the other.
And then there's vacation. Less than 2 weeks away. Less than 2 weeks away. Unpaid. Trip expenses less 8 days of income. Yikes. Is this just occurring to me now? Possibly. Denial is awesome until you're so close that you can smell the post-dated rent cheque.
I'm ok…really. I've been saving beyond my means. Must be the Scottish in me...
Can't enjoy it unless I've suffered for it.
I wouldn't kill for it…but I do waste away in an office 37.5 hours a week for it. It's almost like killing…myself softly.
Anyway…I'm finding urban life to be a tad expensive. When I was in a relationship my expenses consisted of food and beer. Out. It could've been cheaper but that was the extent of it.
Now several months later I find solo to be pretty pricey. Out is not sitting around a hightop watching the game, it's more like cover, rounds of drink, dinners and cabs. Not to mention cute jackets, dresses and boots. Movies. Manis. Brunches. Facials. Essentials!
I quickly fill my weekly calendar with nights out/catch ups/distractions…whatever you want to call it. However, doing whatever whenever has a price. As N pointed out, freedom is not free.
It's like I feel an obligation to spend. Time and money. When you have more of one, you have less of the other.
And then there's vacation. Less than 2 weeks away. Less than 2 weeks away. Unpaid. Trip expenses less 8 days of income. Yikes. Is this just occurring to me now? Possibly. Denial is awesome until you're so close that you can smell the post-dated rent cheque.
I'm ok…really. I've been saving beyond my means. Must be the Scottish in me...
Can't enjoy it unless I've suffered for it.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
My revenge on Lake Couchiching
So I started swimming lessons this week.
In the same pool that my almost-2-year-old niece will learn to kick and splash, I will be doing my best crawl, front and back.
Registering and actually showing up required a bit of courage…but not as much as I would've needed to return to Lake Couchiching.
I digress.
Last August, as many of you know I completed a try-a-tri triathlon. One of the best experiences of my life, compromised by the teeny threat of drowning or not finishing the swim. I was a self-admitted terrible swimmer who thought I could wing a 375 metre swim in open water. Silly girl. For a play-by-play, www.morethanatri.blogspot.com.
This year I'm taking responsibility and showing up every week (save for the two Mondays I'll be in a sunny locale!). I'm taking the instructor's critiques to heart and applying what I learn. Even though he is 21, I will take him seriously, I swear!
Look out K and E…this girl aint needing those water wings anymore!
Well, in 8 weeks I won't. Fingers crossed.
It's all in Maurizio's strong capable hands…haha
In the same pool that my almost-2-year-old niece will learn to kick and splash, I will be doing my best crawl, front and back.
Registering and actually showing up required a bit of courage…but not as much as I would've needed to return to Lake Couchiching.
I digress.
Last August, as many of you know I completed a try-a-tri triathlon. One of the best experiences of my life, compromised by the teeny threat of drowning or not finishing the swim. I was a self-admitted terrible swimmer who thought I could wing a 375 metre swim in open water. Silly girl. For a play-by-play, www.morethanatri.blogspot.com.
This year I'm taking responsibility and showing up every week (save for the two Mondays I'll be in a sunny locale!). I'm taking the instructor's critiques to heart and applying what I learn. Even though he is 21, I will take him seriously, I swear!
Look out K and E…this girl aint needing those water wings anymore!
Well, in 8 weeks I won't. Fingers crossed.
It's all in Maurizio's strong capable hands…haha
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Twenty ten!
New Years Eve.
Love it or hate it…you can't escape it.
I really can't. It's my birthday…and love/hate doesn't even begin it. It's always been a conflicted holiday for me….for reasons I won't get into but it goes beyond the usual birthday blahs.
This year was different. I took ownership of the day and made it perfect, with the help of a few very special people.
Facial. Nieces. Skating. Mani. Ho-cho. Dinner. Party. Perfect.
What really made it special though was the feeling I woke up with the next day. Release.
It's like I left any anger or negativity behind in 2009. There was a shift somewhere, where I let go. I feel twenty pounds lighter, and ten times happier.
Happy 2010 everyone!
May it be everything you dream.
Ps. Right now I'm dreaming of J.Crew and overly articulate high school students. Thanks ladies…and boy!
Love it or hate it…you can't escape it.
I really can't. It's my birthday…and love/hate doesn't even begin it. It's always been a conflicted holiday for me….for reasons I won't get into but it goes beyond the usual birthday blahs.
This year was different. I took ownership of the day and made it perfect, with the help of a few very special people.
Facial. Nieces. Skating. Mani. Ho-cho. Dinner. Party. Perfect.
What really made it special though was the feeling I woke up with the next day. Release.
It's like I left any anger or negativity behind in 2009. There was a shift somewhere, where I let go. I feel twenty pounds lighter, and ten times happier.
Happy 2010 everyone!
May it be everything you dream.
Ps. Right now I'm dreaming of J.Crew and overly articulate high school students. Thanks ladies…and boy!
Monday, January 4, 2010
When Adam met Eve...she just wanted to be friends. He had other ideas.
Can guys and girls just be friends?
My ex was adament that platonacy isn't possible, one side always wants more, he insisted. I've always disagreed but my position is fleeting.
I grew up with platonic relationships. My brothers. I truly believe that wired me to see men as friends. The kind of friends I would never even contemplate being intimate with because…well they're like brothers to me.
My girlfriends without brothers seem to have less of an interest in surrounding themselves with boys whom they're not romantically linked.
Is it the same for men? Are those with sisters more capable of upholding nonsexual relations with women? Those without, less?
Platonic friendships are, supposedly a two-way street. This requires guys to be somewhat selective in their affections, primal or otherwise. And from what I can tell, this is universally rare.
When Harry Met Sally provides us with timeless insight into intergender relations.
Harry: ...men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
...
Harry: You only think you do.
...
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Me? I ignore any comments or jokes that have potential to burst my platonic bubble. I engage in conversation about our respective love lives. I avoid trivializing the relationship. Essentially, I walk the line and hope he doesn't cross it.
I guess my point is...does it really matter if he likes you? What bearing do his feelings have on you unless he makes it a factor? Isn't it still platonic if you think it is and he hasn't compromised the friendship? Is ignorance bliss?
If most guys are willing to sleep with 95% of the girls they know, I'm working with a slim 1% margin. I just hope when I do find someone meeting my tough criteria, I don't fall in his remaining 5%, subsequently finding myself on the other side of the debate.
My ex was adament that platonacy isn't possible, one side always wants more, he insisted. I've always disagreed but my position is fleeting.
I grew up with platonic relationships. My brothers. I truly believe that wired me to see men as friends. The kind of friends I would never even contemplate being intimate with because…well they're like brothers to me.
My girlfriends without brothers seem to have less of an interest in surrounding themselves with boys whom they're not romantically linked.
Is it the same for men? Are those with sisters more capable of upholding nonsexual relations with women? Those without, less?
Platonic friendships are, supposedly a two-way street. This requires guys to be somewhat selective in their affections, primal or otherwise. And from what I can tell, this is universally rare.
When Harry Met Sally provides us with timeless insight into intergender relations.
Harry: ...men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
...
Harry: You only think you do.
...
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Me? I ignore any comments or jokes that have potential to burst my platonic bubble. I engage in conversation about our respective love lives. I avoid trivializing the relationship. Essentially, I walk the line and hope he doesn't cross it.
I guess my point is...does it really matter if he likes you? What bearing do his feelings have on you unless he makes it a factor? Isn't it still platonic if you think it is and he hasn't compromised the friendship? Is ignorance bliss?
If most guys are willing to sleep with 95% of the girls they know, I'm working with a slim 1% margin. I just hope when I do find someone meeting my tough criteria, I don't fall in his remaining 5%, subsequently finding myself on the other side of the debate.
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