The bigger they are...

I've had more conversations with HR than I'd like to count. More interviews than I'd like to admit. More rejections than I'd like to think about.

For 3 years I've been spinning my wheels careful not to get too excited about job propsects, or too discouraged by none.

Yesterday, I was told I was not getting a job that I thought I had a good chance of getting. I've had quite a few of those conversations, and trust me they are not something that get easier with practise.

Thankfully, there was a part of me that didn't want it.

The job itself was so promising. I knew I could excel at it, I knew I would learn a great deal. The company is not only a strong Canadian brand that I could stand behind, but also they appear to care about their employees. All great things.

Except...the location.

I would have either had to get a car or TTC an aggregate 3 hours a day. Neither of which sound like my 15 minute bike ride to work. Something I really value.

When I thought about driving in the snow, or walking to a "rural" bus stop in the middle of a blizzard, my stomach lurched. Now, if you subscribe to The Secret or variations thereof, I can see you shaking your head saying that I created that outcome by focusing on the negative aspects of the job. I even heard myself everytime someone said "Wow (insert company name here), that would be very cool"…I'd respond, "Yea, but that commute…eek".

But my question for you, you attraction lawyers out there…why doesn’t it work the other way? Why does negative appear to be so much stronger? Why, after all of these hours spent in a suit...all the positive energies put out there...hopes. Why are my wheels still a'spinnin'?

The bigger they are, the harder the fall.
Applies to giants and expectations alike.

If you can't handle the heat...crank that dial

My mother always fought the social pressures of climate control. "Why do you want heat in the winter...and cold in the summer?" Her argument was that if the house was built properly the outside conditions should have no effect on the inside. They did…so it wasn't?

Who's to argue? Wear a sweater.

That cultivated in me a lowered dependency on thermostats…and also, a fear/ignorance of them.

Now, as temperatures in Toronto reach unbearable heights I am being seduced by the need for artificially-generated cold air.

The outside is cooler than the inside. I can't open the windows in my room. We shield the sunlight from entering the apartment, creating a cave-like atmosphere. We don’t cook for fear of raising the temperature inside by even one degree. My hair not only suffers the inevitable plight of humidity but I don't even blow dry it because a hot air gun has no business in my life right now.

Desperate measures.

We're now considering getting a portable unit. Our not-all-that scientific positioning of the fans has exceeded our patience. I normally dislike AC. I find it's generally abused and the overzealous willy-nilly approach to climate control is the cause of summer blackouts that, at first seem exciting and then just prove annoying.

In the right hands (ie. mine and N's), AC could perhaps simply be a mechanism for taking the edge off on a stupid hot Toronto day/night. 

Not an excuse to wear a sweater in July.