Moving on

Despite my aversion to the process of packing, hauling, and unpacking I've decided to move out.

Unfortunately, that means splitting from N. Our lives are taking us on different paths, where hers involves a beau...mine, a not-quite ready condo and a friend looking for a roommate. Sigh. It's been 4 years of living with her and I'm really quite sad about our pending break up. Ours has, in fact been my longest and most successful relationship thus far. And this split, the most gracious.

Perhaps this is the shake-up both of us need. A change of scenery…we're coming on to 3 years in this apartment. An apartment less than perfect. No need to take inventory of things I won't miss. Although, the things I will. The deck. The location. The neighbours. The roommate.

Maybe a shift out of my comfort zone will stir those giants of complacency. Remind myself that I'm oh so lucky to be a single girl living in an amazing city and an opportunity to enjoy this urban life o'mine.

H, my potential new roommate will be good for that. She answered a similar cosmic call 4 and a half years ago when I moved to Toronto and in with her, thanks to craigslist. That summer was a goodie.

And perhaps, this winter will be the bestie.

The bigger they are...

I've had more conversations with HR than I'd like to count. More interviews than I'd like to admit. More rejections than I'd like to think about.

For 3 years I've been spinning my wheels careful not to get too excited about job propsects, or too discouraged by none.

Yesterday, I was told I was not getting a job that I thought I had a good chance of getting. I've had quite a few of those conversations, and trust me they are not something that get easier with practise.

Thankfully, there was a part of me that didn't want it.

The job itself was so promising. I knew I could excel at it, I knew I would learn a great deal. The company is not only a strong Canadian brand that I could stand behind, but also they appear to care about their employees. All great things.

Except...the location.

I would have either had to get a car or TTC an aggregate 3 hours a day. Neither of which sound like my 15 minute bike ride to work. Something I really value.

When I thought about driving in the snow, or walking to a "rural" bus stop in the middle of a blizzard, my stomach lurched. Now, if you subscribe to The Secret or variations thereof, I can see you shaking your head saying that I created that outcome by focusing on the negative aspects of the job. I even heard myself everytime someone said "Wow (insert company name here), that would be very cool"…I'd respond, "Yea, but that commute…eek".

But my question for you, you attraction lawyers out there…why doesn’t it work the other way? Why does negative appear to be so much stronger? Why, after all of these hours spent in a suit...all the positive energies put out there...hopes. Why are my wheels still a'spinnin'?

The bigger they are, the harder the fall.
Applies to giants and expectations alike.

If you can't handle the heat...crank that dial

My mother always fought the social pressures of climate control. "Why do you want heat in the winter...and cold in the summer?" Her argument was that if the house was built properly the outside conditions should have no effect on the inside. They did…so it wasn't?

Who's to argue? Wear a sweater.

That cultivated in me a lowered dependency on thermostats…and also, a fear/ignorance of them.

Now, as temperatures in Toronto reach unbearable heights I am being seduced by the need for artificially-generated cold air.

The outside is cooler than the inside. I can't open the windows in my room. We shield the sunlight from entering the apartment, creating a cave-like atmosphere. We don’t cook for fear of raising the temperature inside by even one degree. My hair not only suffers the inevitable plight of humidity but I don't even blow dry it because a hot air gun has no business in my life right now.

Desperate measures.

We're now considering getting a portable unit. Our not-all-that scientific positioning of the fans has exceeded our patience. I normally dislike AC. I find it's generally abused and the overzealous willy-nilly approach to climate control is the cause of summer blackouts that, at first seem exciting and then just prove annoying.

In the right hands (ie. mine and N's), AC could perhaps simply be a mechanism for taking the edge off on a stupid hot Toronto day/night. 

Not an excuse to wear a sweater in July.

G20-something

I got the hell out of dodge.

So my commentary on the G20 Summit is simply as a citizen of Toronto, who stradles the centre of the politcal spectrum.

My first and main issue is with the decision to have the summit in Toronto. In the downtown core, no less. The summit is not designed as a site seeing visit for politicians….so location should have more practical security sense than 'showcasing' Canada's biggest city. And if the big idea was to entice the international press to speak the good word of TourismToronto…this was certainly not the stage to do so. Who wants to visit a police state with a contrived pond? Sounds like an Orwellian tale, not my Toronto.

The massive price tag associated with summit security was due to the absolute integrated nature of the venue. The mulitple access points. The residential condos surrounding the building. The underground PATH system. It wasn't because our fence was made of gold, we just required much more fence.

However, I don't blame the pre-emptive security measures taken. People learn from history. No global summit has occurred without violence. It would be ignorant to suggest that the fence was not necessary. It's just a shame that the apparent main objective was to protect the leaders at the expense of the host city.

I feel for the protestors who had a message. The media coverage was geared toward chaos, thereby perpetuating the extremists' argument that in order to be heard you must use violence as your medium. Unfortunately, that tactic takes away from the cause and makes violence the story. Nobody wins.

Things got out of hand. Some protestors got out of hand. Some police got out of hand. The police had the added weighty responsibliity of keeping order amidst chaos. I can appreciate that…I was in Muskoka with 9 children at one point.

Thank goodness they weren't organized…and couldn't reach the matches.

The Man Scan

I've taken up a new hobby. I like to call it "man browsing", but depending on the degree and circumstance it can be elevated to "man stalking".

There's the natural "man scan" that occurs when you're going about your daily life, essentially sizing up every man that crosses your path. Giving them the green or red, sometimes yellow. Based purely on superficial attraction and possibly rooted in primal survival instinct.

Then, there's the more commited approach. Beyond the street pass, this could be someone in your office building or a neighbour or a clerk at your movie rental spot. Someone you could potentially cross again and again and again (if you're lucky and have the stamina).

Today, my office building complex had a barbeque. Most see it as an opportunity to score free grub. Me? An opportunity to see what these walls have been hiding. M and I had our radar going. Even though she is 'with boy', she is pretty supportive of my cause. We were covertly and overtly scoping out the scene, including taking photos with our blackberrys for later identification…I'm pretty sure that was the 'overtly' part.

…or there's the neighbour who is unaware of our (his and mine) pending relationship. Haha.

…or the friend who met a guy at the bar and we managed to find out his last name, the name of his employer, the address of his office and his mom's maiden name…all from a general idea of what he did and a broad intersection. Google knows.

Kidding about the maiden name thing…now that would just be nuts.





What's a single girl to do?

Train Schedules

Here we go again.

I'm once again training for a baby triathlon. I mean a try-a-tri triathlon (one guy actually thought I did triathlons with babies…I don't know). Anyway, the time frame is similar to the last one with 6 weeks to go, (see: http://www.morethanatri.blogspot.com/)…but the motivation is pretty different.

Last time, as it turned out I had a broken heart to mend…this time, no broken heart...simply a number of bad habits developed over the winter to break. A colleague of mine moonlights as a personal trainer and his fee pour moi? A latte. I offered an americano but...a hard bargain, he drives.

Last night, I started the regimen. A strict 6-week-at-6-days-with-Sundays-off training schedule. Hello! No time for Yoga Mondays. No room for two-bite Tuesdays. No excuses for missing burpee Wednesdays. I'm locked and ready.

My enthusiasm masked any fatigue last night, but I wasn't so lucky this morning. It was tough…and it will just get harder. Hopefully I'll have cameo appearances from my favourite sparring buddies, but for the most part I've got to rely on myself for motivation.

That, and the fear of J every morning when he asks how things are going. I got a customized program and a face every morning as a part of the deal. The face of delight is good…face of disapointment, bad.

Not a terrible rule to go by in general.

Morning Glory

I went for a run this morning before work. It was kind of an important day and I find I function best when I start the day with activity.

I managed to do my 20 minutes between rainy shifts.

The combination of the rainy afterglow and the natural morning light made everything look so….so vibrant. It was as if it had this new day energy. New week energy. New month energy. New season energy.

Regardless, it was good energy.

…and I carried that with me all day.